Several meanings rushed into my mind when I started to write the title for my blog. Is it that my papa is no where to be found? Or it means that I am missing him or him missing me? Well, at the end of this entry, we could soon find out.
Growing up in a family where girls are really kept, kept in the sense that they are those who are highly respected, greatly treasured, and very protected, I sometimes really long for my freedom. Going home late, walking alone, going out on Saturdays and Sundays; are just some of the usual arguable issues we have at home. Of course, being a teenager, I am in the stage wherein I really spend time with my friends because they seem to be my comfort zones during the hard moments of my life.
Now, since the practice for the Dramafest started which was 2 weeks ago or so, I had never joined my family for breakfast, because we all have different schedules for the day; lunch, because everyone is at school and work; and for dinner,because we are pressured to stay late to practice. Because of that, when I go home, I go straight to bed with no food in my stomach except that of the bread we ate for snacks time, and wake up early for school. When I arrive from school, they are either not yet around or already asleep and during the morning, I get to leave early. So, we just end up seeing each other for quite just "sometimes".
Tied up in my commitments and responsibilities, I tend to forget that there's a family that misses me. There are those people who always long for my time. My time that I always spend outside the premises of our home. The time that I cannot say was wasted but instead was used up. I was so preoccupied with the activities in school that I already forget the activities of my little brother in his school, to bond my older sister and brother when they go home, and even just share to my parents how my day had been. Every time they would see me, I'm always in a hurry, ready to go, and just informing them where I will be going with no definite time when I would go home.
Indeed, just hours ago that I have realized those gaps I have created with my family. Since the dramafest is done and final exams are fast approaching, studies is again our first priority. Of course, that enclosed the fact that I would go home early. Early is curfew time for me...hehehe...
The moment that my foot stepped on the premises of our home, my father greeted me with a big smile. My mother was indeed kinda surprised too. I gave respect to them and started to head towards my room and planned to sleep. Not until my father said, "Oh!Naa man lagi ka?Sau man lagi ka?Nikaon na ka?Dali, dungan ta tanan ug kaon". Those words that came out from his mouth stunned me and me realize that I should spend time with them.
So, I changed my uniform and started to fix the table. From the words that soon came out of my father's mouth, I came to realize that he did miss me. So, I told him, "Yeah! I know you missed me!" and blurted out a big laugh, teasing my faher to honestly tell me that he missed me. My mother just enjoyed the scene and just kept on laughing.
We shared dinner together. According to papa, because I was able to join them for dinner, he let my brother buy softdrinks for the lechon manok that my mom bought. I felt so special. I felt so loved. I felt like they really missed me and for that I must not let those moments just easily go away.
"Gang," my mom said, and inquired about the CNU results. It really felt that I haven't heard anyone called me that in the longest time. It felt good. I told them that results would be released next week. Papa told me to take up an entrance test in CCMC, but I never wanted to enter that school! So I disagreed with him. At the end of our discussion, these words inspired me from my father, "Bahala nah ug mahal na nga kurso, kung mao jud na ang imong gusto, paningkamotan jud nako na". Those words inspired me to work harder and be more serious in my studies.
Having those thoughts on my mind that papa was missing me, I felt that everything for me is good. I could not ask for more.
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