gOd's aNsweRs...

Patience is always a virtue...that's what I have learned in today's events, and the days that has passed by that I can't seem to understand the things why they are happening and why do they have to happen even if it meant to hurt other people's feelings, hurt other people's pride, yet, touch people's lives.

When circumstances like, the ones that you really wish for and really aims for don't happen, we tend to be impatient and starts to question God's power, mighty and love. People around me always tell me that everything happens for a reason and when God doesn't answer your prayers with a resounding "yes" or a hurtful "no", it means patiently "wait". According to Cardinal Vidal's talk during the World Youth Day Cross, he explained there the impatience of men, and how teenagers nowadays would like to take everything in short cuts. At first I did not believe what I heard until I have came to realize my doings. There are times that I pray for something or someone and expects God's answer right there and then. I get disappointed if I don't have His answers right away. Not until I got to know someone that made me realize that God loves me so much that he doesn't want me to end up getting hurt with the wrong person. Not long after the classes has ended during the last school year, I had "renewed" a friendship with someone. "Renew" in the sense that we knew each other before but never had the chance to talk and get to know each other. Now, during those moments, I really can't figure out why God has let our paths to be crossed, considering the fact that we only knew each other by names, we never thought that the friendship would eventually grow.

We introduced ourselves to each other and gave each other a chance to get to know one another. Many nights have passed until I have realized that every night we are texting. Every night, I'm telling all the things that happened during my day, or at times, even during that moment that I was doing. He would also share to me how his day has been, how he felt during his exams, or simply the feeling that he is watching tv in his couch. Sometimes, I would tell him how pissed off I was with someone or how happy I was because of such event. He understood me, he cared for me. There was even a time that a stranger kept on bugging me off. You know what he did? Well, he asked for the number and texted that stranger. That pearticular stranger eventually held back and did not even try to bother me. I was so impressed with what he did. He was like a knight in shinning armor.

I never expected anything from him, only friendship. But he told me that he was longing not only for my friendship but the level higher than that, full commitment.

Not until I was kept busy by a very flattering moment. I completely forgot about him! I was so busy entertaining the current things that are happening in my life and just feeling so assured that he is just there and he would always be there.

When everything that was happening cooled off, I started to realize that I actually lost him, good thing I had him back, but not entirely him.

He also became busy and eventually vanished. Our communication did not stop because thre are times that he would text, but not as frequent as before. Not as heavenly as before. And most certainly, not as special as before.

During those moments, I have realized his worth in my life. I started to miss him, his messages, his presence and most certainly, his care.

After those moments, I always prayed that God would make a way that our paths would cross again. I asked for so many signs to happen, but every sign would always end up answering me that I must move on.
I continuously prayed for him to come back, for his presence to return, but never did it happen. Not until, supposedly, our paths would eventually must have crossed again! I would supposedly go into a concert wherein I have complimentary tickets wherein he was there too, but unluckily, I have a greater commitment on hand that I can't afford to leave behind.

I never expected what my friend saw! She saw him with his new girl. When I knew that, it kinda affected me. But latert on, when I have searched for the hand behind the event, that is, why God let my commitment and the concert fell at the same time, I have realized that God loves me so much that he wants me to move on and have a clear answer to those signs that I have been longing to know.

God wants me to know that I must let go, and not let that answer smash in front of my face because he knows that I can't bare the pain. I know I must move on. And now, I already did! I know that he was not meant for me and he would only cause me pain. That's why He did not let our paths to cross and see for my self the unbearable truth.

I knew I have loved and given it all, I know that it was not my loss, nor his. I loved and I did my part!!! That's what's imprtant...