LeAving mY fOoTpriNts...

Finally leaving UP High is so painful for me. I am not yet ready to let go of my Alma Mater that molded me for who I am right now. Though times have been tough for me, I could never forget all the teachings and learning that I have gathered throughout my four years of stay in UP.

I have been known as the “pasaway” in our batch. I always violate rules and regulations even to the simplest rule. It seems like its been a part of my system to do what I want to do in my own way up to the moment that I cross the line.

But, I have been noted also as one of the beauties of the batch. Many names have been linked to me and many people adore my physical beauty. I don’t know why but for me, I’ll take that as a compliment. Though many guys have liked me, not one of them even dared to court me because I am the niece of two faculty members, and they see me as a very “high standard” girl. I will leave it to them if they don’t like to know the deeper me (char!).

As I leave footprints in the prestigious State University of the Philippines, I want to be remembered as the lady who had very good leadership skills. I may not be on the top list of the honor roll, but I know that I have spearheaded lots of extra-curricular activities.

Also, I wanted to be remembered as the student who never got tired of reaching for her dreams. I want them to see me as an inspiration to never quit because as long as the sun rises, hope never looses.

Beauty for me to behold is such a great pleasure for not everyone is given that gift. I want them to remember me as the lady who may have the beauty but never holds back in any duty which is given to me. I always do and dare whatever I am tasked to do, no matter how creepy and eewww that may be.

Another thing, I want them to remember me that I was once that Stargazers’ President who had so much overnight activities. I never get tired of doing my job in letting them experience an overnight since I want them to explore the beauty of the heavenly bodies.

Debating should also be continued for we fought for it to survive and for it to start inside the premises of UP High.

I want them to remember me as the lady who is so active in all things and never gets tired of doing anything but still with high taste in fashion.

And finally, I want them to remember me as the girl who once shared all her laughter and tears in UP and finally came out strong. Her voice being heard by everyone and her will be done for the better good.

That’s how I want to be remembered. Not only through my good deeds but through my actions in inflicting change!

tHe LoOk...

The poem by Sara Teasdale, “The Look” is quite intriguing and very challenging. I can rally think of nothing at first, but when I tried to read it over and over again, I began to picture out what the poem’s impact was on me.

In the lines, “Strephon kissed me in the spring; Robin in the fall, But Colin only looked at me and never kissed at all.” I have felt that the lady in the poem has been through the arms of different guys. And every time she is with these guys, they all do the same thing. For her, men are all the same. For them to show that they love her, they would kiss her or make her feel the very same thing and eventually gets lost in the wind. But then, when she knew Colin, he was different. He’s not like any other guys. He respected her and for her being a woman, and did not took advantage of her. He just stood by her and loved her for who she is and never left her.

On next stanza, “Strephon's kiss was lost in jest, Robin's lost in play, But the kiss in Colin's eyes, Haunts me night and day.” I can feel that she has proved to herself that those guys that passed through her life were there just to be with her and not really loves her.

But Colin was different, he has showed a different kind of love that really struck her and really changed her life.

It is like in our lives, realistically speaking; sometimes we think that the guy who courts us and makes us feel special is automatically the right one. Without even having the chance of getting to know that person better and really figuring out if he is serious with you and if what he says is really the truth.

Sometimes, we think that he is really the one without even confirming it to our hearts. That’s one good lesson I have learned throughout my 16 years of existence here in this world, and that is to not easily be fooled by the sweet words that comes out of the guy’s mouth because sometimes, those words are spoken by the lips and not by heart.

We must not automatically be fooled by their sweet actions because they could always do that to anybody else.

There would always be someone who will come in to our lives and show us that they are different without doing what is the typical thing that other men do. That person is really who we are looking for. We just have to be patient enough in waiting for the right moment to come and be prepared of the possible things that would happen.

For sure, if Cupid’s bow is struck on you, you can’t help it but eventually fall. But if that time comes, just be sure that you are ready to handle the relationship since being committed to someone is not a game that you can play around with.

bEinG parT of tHe aDmiNisTraTiOn...

Ever since the beginning of the school days, our mentors have been with us to teach us lessons in the book and also about life. They became part of our lives and they have been good friends to us. We found second parents in them and they have been there to help us in our daily struggles, may it be school related or not.

As they say, experience is the best teacher. So, as the Know Your School Day is celebrated again by the students of UP High, we paid tribute to the mentors and gave them time to have a break and see for themselves how big their contributions are into our lives.

I wanted to have a high position for this year since every year; I get to explore the different positions that I like to have. This year is entirely a different experience for me since I got a position that I never thought I would be in. I have applied for the last minute, as the Students’ Affairs Adviser. Meaning, I took the job of Ma’am Ligaya Rabago Visaya.

I was not honestly sure what I was entering, all I know is that I want to have a different dish for the last time.

So, I was given the chance to read all the excuse letters of all the violators in UP High (including mine too) and found out for my self that I am not the only person who is on the boat of violations! Hahaha!!!

Also, ma’am let me stay in the Leader and rearrange the entire area and eventually beautify it. As I was there, I turned on the radio and had fun. Also, ma’am gave me a task and that is to list down all the students’ activities and achievements. Because ma’am gave me that thing to do, I was excused from the very tiring formation and very hot cleaning session (hahaha!!!).

At the end of the entire activity, I was able to realize that it is not that easy to maintain the Leader, sign the papers, read all the apology letters and implement to the students the school rules.

The very unforgettable experience I had while being on the position is that I was able to get out of the boring classes we had and I was able to sleep with the music and comfort and of course, relax! Hahaha! Rocking!!!

For sure, I won’t forget these experiences that I have and as I leave my alma mater, I will always carry in my heart the very wonderful moments we have shared with my mentors and my batch mates as well.

aS mEn eVoLveS...

The men in our lives give us inspirations, and of course they become part of our lives. But having an argument with them is another thing! What are the problems with men that piss us girls so much?!?

First thing’s first… men are so insensitive!

Imagine this… he knows that you like this and that and it is a very special day for you both, but, he never makes and effort to do something to make you happy on that day, we girls (I mean some of us) are not that materialistic and exerting an effort to make something special and worthwhile is enough for us. Also, if we really are so mad at them and we show them signs that we are mad, still they think that everything is okay not until you blow up and cry! Is exerting an effort really an insult in the ego for you guys?!

Next… men talk a lot!

They may just appear to be so understanding if you do something, but actually, they are just absorbing it in their heads and when they are just with the other boys, they really back-bite a lot! They talk about everything that they saw, feel, and heard. If you are on their forum and you are the tropic of the boys, I know that you will really lose your self-confidence after the entire conversation! Honest!
And then… men say promises so much that they can’t fulfill!

It hurts us girls every time you would promise to do something and eventually end up not fulfilling it because of a very unimportant matter or because you simply forget! Do you know how much it hurts us? It is because we really thought that we would be your priority. And eventually, we end up realizing that those promises of yours came from your lips and not from your heart!

There are times when… men tend to change us into someone we are not!

At the start of everything, they are so good in saying that they accept you for who you are and all those crap! But eventually, they will complain because you dress up this way and you say things this way and you think this way and you act this way… isn’t it annoying girls? I know that there are times that it is really our fault and you guys are just caring for us. But, over-doing it? It kills me!

And also... men can't express what they really feel!

They feel this way but still they hide it to themselves. We have been longing to hear those "sorry" and "thank you" and "You're special for me" to come out of their mouths but still they refuse to show what is deep in their hearts. Even though we girls sometimes get what you wnat to say, still we need to hear it from you, straight from your mouth.

Lastly… men tell you that they love you today and another I love you to other girls the very next day!!!!

Do you honestly believe that you are that good-looking that you could collect as much girls as you can? And take them all at the same time? I really think that you believe in yourself so much and you got to do some repairs in your brain! I really hate it when I know guys that play with the feelings of the girls. Who do you think you are? No matter how good-looking you are, you have no rights in doing that! Doing this is a perfect sign that you are not a man with honor and you don’t hold on to your loyalty. And it really pisses me off to think of such guys with that attitude!!!!

This blog entry really made me think… and as always, boys will always be boys!!!

gUrLs wiLl oLweiz be gUrLs...

When God created the world, He created not only the men nor women to exist; they were both created because such kinds would raise a diverse race.

I am a woman, I know my strengths and my weaknesses, and I know where I am good at and where I am so bad.

Even though I am also a woman, I can see and I can distinguish what are the problems of women like me that we can’t help because it is part of our personality.

The first thing is… we always wanted to feel that we are loved and we are special.

I think it is in the girl’s nature that she wanted to be appreciated. Why do you think us girls like to dress up and make ourselves pretty? It is because we wanted to be presentable and we want that the boys would appreciate how beautiful we are because it adds up to our confidence. And for those who are in a relationship, the girl would really make an effort to dress up herself well since she wants her man to be so proud that he is with her and she won’t turn out to be so insecure with every pretty woman that would pass by.

Also, we want to always feel that we are special for a person. It is a sense of assurance that somebody would be there for us no matter what happens and there’s a shoulder that we could lean on in times of trouble and despair.

Next thing is… we think too much!!!

I admit it; even I am guilty of this. I won’t say that I don’t do this because I actually do! And it always drives me crazy when I think of something related to my crush or someone who courts me or even just from a newly found friend! I am so conscious what would the guy think if I do this or if I do that… so, I would always end up so “praning!” over the simplest stuffs. And then, everything would just end up that the guy did not think nor felt that way as how I thought it would be! This is so applicable for the girls who have boyfriends! They think too much that if ever their guy is not by their side or even just delayed in replying her text messages, she would end up declaring a thousand world wars!!!!

And then… we want to be prioritized…

Imagine this situation, you set an appointment with your guy, and then, it just ended up cancelled because he forgot about it because he enjoyed playing computer games or basketball so much! Isn’t that nerve-wrecking and heart-trashing? Of course, who would want to be neglected right? Honestly, it is okay that sometimes we are not given much attention and that high priority, but doing it always is another thing! It hurts us!

On the other end… we sacrifice too much…

Ever been in a situation wherein you are hurt because he did something bad and never bothered to apologize and console with you? And still, you understood and always absorb it. Sometimes, we love someone so much that we just kept on understanding and tolerating them and what they are doing even if it hurts us so much. We don’t want to bring it up to avoid fights and arguments. And at the end, we end up crying in the night without his knowledge and we are hurt so much that it feels like our hearts are torn apart. As how they call it… the martyrs!

Also… we find it hard to easily let go and move on…

It just appears that we are okay after being hurt but honestly, we still think of it over and over again and it really bothers us. If a relationship just ended, or if a” could have been” relationship suddenly died out, we don’t move on right away and find someone new. It takes us such a long time to finally let go of the simple piece of hope in our hearts, hoping, praying and expecting that he would return or everything would go back the way it has been. That is why some of the girls can’t accept suitors right away because of course, there’s the sad reality that we still sadly expect.

And finally… if we love, we really love…

This principle may be good for some but not highly recommended for all. Of course, it is okay that we would love someone, but not to the extent that we give a hundred percent of our love to a guy. This is a very common scene for most girls who are in a relationship. The bad thing about this is when you give all of your love, you may be taken for granted by the guy that you love because he knows that you love him so much whatever wrong doing he does. Also, he may take advantage of that fact and play around with your feelings. Of course! We are women and we love… but it is not the issue. The issue is, we should love ourselves first and never forget to love ourselves even if someone would come into our lives.

Some may not be applicable to other girls, but, it is my prerogative to speak my mind… right?!?!

LawYer'S cOnferEnCe sPeEch...

People nowadays say, “The more laws and orders are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.” In some angle, I tend to believe what these people say, but deep in my heart I know that lawyers are made because they are to defend the lives of people.

Heroism, as how they define it, is the thought of being killed in trying to protect the country, or doing a significant deed for the betterment of the entire human race. Heroes are those domestic helpers that send dollars in the country, those who died in the battlefield in trying to defend our country and those cops, soldiers and other professions that dedicate their lives to save others. But haven’t you thought that we, lawyers are also heroes in the making?

We spend sleepless nights in trying to figure out how we could win our case just to save a framed-up killer, or the thought that we face the people of the Philippines for us to defend our innocent client inside the court room filled with people raging with anger.

In the matter of years alone, that we spend just studying the Philippine Constitution, memorizing the Bill of Rights, understanding the Republic Acts, and trying to read from cover to cover every book that is there that talks about law, isn’t it a sign of dedication? A trace of selflessness? And a basis for determination, passion and hard work?

Many people question the reputation of a lawyer for they say that a lawyer is liar. It may be true for some but not applicable to all. Because I still believe that the truth will surely set us free.

Once, I handled a case regarding a prostitute who is a rape victim in Subic, she was hurdled to death by American soldiers but luckily she still lived. Now, she wants to push her case to the court because she wants to find justice, and for her to become a role model for those people who are afraid to speak the truth. When I handled her case, everything was very crucial, the case, the victim, and me. I was offered to be paid 10 times bigger compared to how much my client pays me if only I would turn the case down, kill the issue, and just let the American soldier go.

I admit that my money was really a factor and it almost over-shown me, but I held unto my principle and turned the offer down. I continued the case and eventually won it.

That learning experience of mine really made me think that lawyers like us, our lives are also at stake. Every case that we win and we loose, someone will surely get hurt. In our case, we just have to fight for what we really believe is right and what is written under the Law of God.

Also, I have pondered that lawyers like us, are also good politicians! It is because, we learn how to think rationally, and we do not let our emotions fill our heads. Ever wonder why inside the senate there is always chaos? Because inside that room, there are good lawyers who lives by their principle and do not let money eat their entire personality.

For the young lawyers who are present right now, always remember that “It is fair to judge people and a stained window only in their best light.” And there would always come a point beyond which even justice is blind, but never let yourself be blinded too by this unfair judgment.

What everyone says may not always be the real verdict to what really happened. A small voice that will come from you will surely make a difference. Never neglect your capability to judge fairly because not everyone has this talent.

My fellow lawyers, let us live by our oath that the truth is what we will live by, and there may be an increasing numbers of criminals out there, as long as the good lawyers like us will remain and continuously do our job, those who have violated the law will surely find their place in prison, and for those innocent lives that were affected, they will surely find the justice that they seek.

Justice that we seek may not be easy to find nor attain, as long as justice, and only justice, shall be our motto, it will be soon be of our reach. For “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”.

Good day to you all.

whEn i Am meNtaLly heALtHy...

What really consists a healthy person? Is it only the physical? The mental? In the Psychological aspect? Or the emotional stability of a person? Well then, these factors are very important, but above them all, we need to maintain a healthy and stabilized mental fitness.

In order for us to be mentally healthy, we need to be provided with our basic need like, food, shelter, clothing, medicine, etc. because if we have accomplished these needs, there’s no factor that may contribute for our physical illnesses that may lead to the mental instability.

Then, we need to have proper diet for the proper circulation of the blood in our body, as well as the proper distribution of the vitamins and minerals in all parts of our systems.

Next, we need to have proper relaxation and rest. We are not robots. We are humans! And as a human being, we normally ran out of energy after all the activities that we have done during the span of time that we are awake. At least 8 – 10 hours of sleep must be done everyday. If we have enough sleep, then our body is so relaxed that we can think well and we are capable of doing right decisions.

Our stress and depressions must be released in a proper way, such as activities that involve the mind, like for example, Chess or Scrabble; these are very good mind games. These games enhance our logical analysis that exercises our brain.

We also need physical exercises like, Badminton, Soccer, Basketball, Volleyball, etc. for the proper release of our emotions. In such a way, our emotions must be properly released. It must not be stocked up in our minds in such a way that it has no way to be released.

The feeling that we are secured and we are confident enough that we have friends, or family members, that we can rely on especially in times that we are down, and during the times, that we have someone to share our laughter and happy times with. The sense of belongingness is one major factor that affects our mental fitness.

And above it all, LOVE must always be present and felt from all the members of the family, friends, and everybody around. When there’s love felt and expressed, such felling of confidence and security is always there in which we know that through these people, we are able to talk to them and release whatever emotions stuck inside our hearts. I don’t know how to explain it further for people to know how important love is, in the contribution of our mental health. But I know that one thing’s for sure, it is so important that it is the biggest factor that has a correlation with our whole being.

oN cHiLdrEn aNd interNeT...

We are responsible of ourselves. No one else is.

With the very advanced technology w have right now; especially on computers, and the very new and latest online games that are very rapid nowadays, can we secure our students that they eat the right amount of food on time? Is internet or surfing the net, worth the time and money? Oh come on! Knowing that there are students today, and it is in the status quo, that most people logs in the internet café are students and they are there everyday, before classes starts, lunch breaks and afternoon dismissals! And knowing the fact that the money which they used to spend for PC rentals and online gaming are from their snacks and lunch money, don’t these kids know the risk that are at stake for them?
We cannot deny the fact that once these kids get addicted to these internet stuffs, they will just really sacrifice their nutrition and health for the sake of their satisfaction once these kids are in front of the computer. And also, these are the primary reasons why they get tardy in going to school. And what’s worse? Maybe, if this doing won’t be stopped, they might really be addicted and really sacrifice their education to the point that they won’t make their assignments and projects just to go online, or maybe really arrive to a point wherein they won’t attend their classes and still ask money from their parents, assuming and lying that they are inside the school even though in reality, they are just on those internet cafés.

Well, prevention is always better than cure. We must be responsible enough to know what’s good and what’s wrong. We must be able to prove ourselves that we are worth every blood and sweat of our parents just to send us to school and have a good future.

“A Parents’ Love is Truly Never Ending…”

There was once a very happy-go-lucky guy named, Guido Orefice, who really believed that life is indeed, and really beautiful. The princess who fell down from the sky to the arms of Guido was Dora, a young and pretty school teacher who happens to be unfortunately engaged. At first, they met so unexpectedly! But then, later on, when Guido fell even more in love with Dora, he did everything just to win her heart. And, indeed! They ended up to each other’s arms wherein Giosue was another blessing from the heaven to them.

Unfortunately, war struck and Guido, who was Jewish, Uncle Eliseo and Giosue, were sent to a camp based by the Germans. Meanwhile, Dora, who was not a Jew, demanded the military to let her go with the train to be with her family. They experienced a lot of hardships inside the camp. And because Guido didn’t want to disappoint his son nor be exposed to the hurtful reality they are in, he did everything just to make Giosue happy and thought of everything as a game wherein the winner takes home a real tank – Goisue’s most favorite thing of all! When there was a chance, Guido tried to escape with Giosue, and at the same time, save Dora. But, unfortunately, Guido got killed. But even if he died, he was able to prove that Life is Really Beautiful….

The story, Life is Beautiful, was done great! It was able to unfold the story well. The intentions, values, and lessons were clearly expressed. There was not much twist, and the story was direct to the point. The actors, especially Roberto Benigni who acted as Guido Orefice, did well on his job. He successfully touched the hearts of the viewers. He had an impact which was surely unexpected. He served as a bridge where at the end of the movie, we would surely appreciate the value of our parents and upon how much they sacrificed just for our own sake.

Probably, the movies’ strong point would be, it was well directed because the war was so real and an unexplainable pity or anger would be felt at the end of the movie, as if you were really there who experienced the hardships. On the other hand, the weak point of the movie would be, it was in Italian that’s why others were having a hard time focusing on the movie and at the same time, reading the subscript.

“Good Morning Princess!” This is what Guido often exclaims. Even if they were already having a hard time dealing with the consequences of the war, he was able to find ways to let his princess know that life is still beautiful. For me, it was entitled, “Life is Beautiful” because that represents him, so optimistic and never gives up despite the negative things that were coming on his way.

One perfect example that I can think of was during Dora’s engagement party wherein it was announced that Dora will soon be married. Because I thought that he would loose hope and just walk out, but, I was wrong! Instead, he did everything so that Dora would know that he’s there and he really found ways to get close to Dora and he was very successful in taking Dora along with him.

As a viewer I find the story so simple yet it had so much impact to me. Because I could really feel how deep is Guido’s love for Dora because even if it meant risking his own life just to save Dora from being one of those women brought along by the truck wherein God knows where the military would bring them, he still did take the risk because that’s how much he loves Dora. And in every chance he had, he would really grab it just to make Dora and Goisue happy and safe.

This movie is highly advisable especially for the whole family because there are so many values you can find in this movie! Like, the sacrifices our parents do just for our own sake. How much our parents really strive hard just to give us a good life and a bright future ahead of us, even if it means risking their own lives.

Honestly, I felt guilty after watching this movie because sometimes, I take my parents’ efforts for granted and sometimes, even accusing them that they don’t love me because they have no time for me! Through Guido, I now fully understand that my parents love me so much and I love them so much, too! With my family and loved ones by my side, I know, and I won’t surely forget that life is really worth living and Life is Beautiful.

jS prOm 2006...tYing kNots of fRieNdsHiP...

“Tying knots of memories through threads of friendship.”

The spectacular night of February 17, 2006 was filled with memories really worth cherishing. The Arctic Hall of Waterfront Hotel, Cebu City was filled with dashing ladies in their formal gowns and gorgeous men in their formal suits and tuxedos. Indeed, all the Juniors and Seniors, even the faculty members really looked lovely on that very memorable night.
After days and weeks of preparations, pressure for unfinished tasks and very tiring practices, everything seemed paid off. All the worries vanished into the air once the Juniors and the Seniors stepped their foot on the hall.
Big and beautiful transformations can really be seen! From being ordinary high school students they are on ordinary days, it seemed like, in just a click of a hand, all the simple maidens turned into lovely Cinderellas and immature boys became the ideal princes. They were like stars on earth that shone so bright during that night. Their light brought glory and happiness to everyone. Indeed, it was a night of fairy tales.
There was a lot of “first times” that actually happened during the prom night. First time to enter Waterfront Hotel, first time to wear gowns, first time to wear those very high-heeled shoes, and even the first time to join such a formal occasion and gathering such as the promenade, were just some of those many “first time” our first timers had during the spectacular night.
The prom had a big impact for all. It taught everyone how to be demure and how to observe proper etiquette. Form that promenade, poise and confidence were most needed to stand out form the stream of beautiful faces. Honestly, I was so shocked on how the boys behaved during that night because they were really such gentlemen all throughout the night!
However, the promenade was not pure formality! Because during the dancing, especially the part where the disco took place, regardless of the gowns and sandals, everyone really gave their best to dance and have fun! It was the Juniors’ and Seniors’ time to bond, and indeed, it was so much fun!
Moreover, just like Cinderella’s fairy tale story, the end of the night came too for us. Though the night ended, the bonding and friendship did not end there. Everyone went home with big smiles on their faces, even though others ankles really hurt a lot, bringing along the fairy tale dream which came true.
Promenade 2006, it was indeed a time for tying knots of memories through threads of friendships.

“A RefLecTion: JoSe JoYa ArTs ExHibiT 2006”

Honestly, I’m not really very appreciative when it comes to art. I find myself an alien, with regards to it. But sometimes, without my knowing, I have been able to make a very appreciative art design. Like for example, the poems and essays that I write, and even the stories that I have composed. It may not be a very big accomplishment, but for me, it is an outlet of my worries, anger, sadness, happiness and fear.
When I went to look at the Jose Joya exhibit, at first, I just find it very ordinary, just mere drawings and mixture of colors! But then. later on, I have seen something deeper in each painting. I felt as if, in every color used, drawings made, and figures chosen, there are deeper messages behind it. May it be political or abstract, there’s something unexplainable inside those paintings that make me stop and think.
There was this drawing entitled, “Pag-subo”. At first, I didn’t even understand the meaning because it was in a deep visayan translation, but when the folder of explanations reached my hand and I read the meaning of it, then I said to myself, “Ah! I was right!” because I interpreted it as if, there’s chaos in his life. The colors used were dark, like red, blue, green and black, and the only light color used was yellow. And the very intriguing thing for me was, it had several melted candles on it.
So, when I have read the explanation, the colors symbolized darkness, frustrations and confusion. The colors were distributed like, it was in a direction going nowhere! It really has no definite shapes nor figures! So, that meant chaos in his mind. The colors symbolized what he felt when he was making his piece of masterpiece! He was very confused! He didn’t know what to do! That’s why he came up with that kind of art.
Then, the yellow symbolized his little happiness. But he stated in his article that he wasn’t contented with that little amount of happiness because even though he experienced happiness, it was still not enough for him to be totally happy because his sadness overcame his heart. And finally, the candle symbolized faith and hope. Those tiny pieces of candles which were scattered and melted were symbols of his scattered hopes that help him to become stronger and to hold on further.
I don’t know but I kinda feel what the painter felt at that time. I sympathize him. I know how he felt. Just by looking into his painting, there I can understand further his emotions. Those emotions may not be expressed and always kept inside that’s why it stuck me so much. I don’t know the painter, all I know is that he is in confusion and sorrow.
Art, in whatever form, is always an outlet of emotions and sometimes the mirror of our personality and true feelings.

sTary... sTarY niGht...

I really really hate it when my schedules conflicts! Moreover, I hate it when I had to choose which I should prioritize.
Why am I saying these things? Because three very important things will happen today needing me to be there; YMA session, Tulo-Tulo sa Marso and Stargazing Activity at USC – TC, but I can’t, but I had an idea!
Early in the morning, I went to join our YMA session. At 2 pm, I excused myself from the session; of course I asked permission from Ms. Tim, and en went to SM Cinema 1 to watch the compulsory play entitled, Tulo-tulo sa Marso wherein student from UP were there to perform.
Upon reaching SM, I asked my friends to wait for me, but I came first, and I have realized that I was not able to bring any UP shirt so I just went on hiding and looking out. Upon reaching inside, we saw other batch mates of ours and we stayed close to each other to look for chairs. We almost found a fight with the very impolite man that was guarding the seats for the teachers. So, I just lead them and we squatted on the very front area of the Cinema, as in really in front of the stage. We enjoyed the whole show and we really adored the UP performers.
It was about time for me to go back to YMA, so I was accompanied by the boys wherein they assisted me upon which jitney to ride on.
The YMA session lasted until 10 pm. And my nerves were really not settled since the 4th year Stargazers will be going to USC-TC without me and I was kind of scared what if something goes wrong and I’m not there with them! Good thing they were responsible enough to take good care of themselves and eventually managed to reach USC-TC safely.
I was able to follow them at10 pm wherein I rode on a cab. Upon reaching there, Madam Gallo introduced to me the big time astronomers! I was shy because they were really the people who invested a lot in their passion. After talking to them, I went to be with my batch mates and sat for a while. Minutes later, JP and I played “dakpanay”, a very childish game, and thumb wrestling, a very immature game too! But we had fun so we just went on. We both looked into the telescope and saw the magnificent beauty of Saturn and the constellations. A talk also followed about astrophotography, hobbies of people who love taking pictures of the sky, wherein we saw through his laptop the different wonderful constellations.
After that, we took a rest and just talked. I really planned to sleep because I’m so tired! But lying with Artsron on my right side and JP on my left side eventually caused me not to sleep. We just kept on talking and talking.
The night was so fantastic! The stars were there perfectly and the cold air resembled with the dark night. The memories we had during the night were for us to cherish in our hearts. All we could say is that we enjoyed the glamorous night and that night is for us to remember… always!

tHe "fAmiLy" dAY...

“Family Day” is a day wherein all the students would gather in school together with their families would go to school and eventually have a feast and use the time up to bond.
For four years, I am already used to the feeling that during that day, “special” for others, not my entire family is there with me. Actually, I have experienced it that during my junior years, only my sister came to be with me on this occasion and eventually stayed for just 10 minutes. My parents and my younger brother were in Bohol at that time because it was my grandma’s birthday. Luckily, Euvic’s family was not there too so we just spent the whole day being with each other and eventually ate on the same plate because we had no utensils to use. In the morning then, I performed together with the drum and bugle core as the majorette. I was so envious seeing my friends’ parents taking pictures of her. But eventually, I understood the situation.
And now, my very last Family Day was spent with so much fun! My mom and my younger brother were there to watch me dance our field demonstration presentation. I felt so inspired to dance since my partner too is so handsome (aahhh!!!). Seriously, the day started with a mass. I was seated with my friends around me and we were starting to have a good time. The weather at that time was not that good and drizzling was unpredictable. Nevertheless, we still finished the mass holy.
After our field demonstration, Madame Gallo’s retirement was formally announced. After I delivered my mom and my brother to the guard house because they will go home already, I saw Madam G crying as she approached and told me to really take care of the Stargazer’s society. I eventually cried too because Madam G really inspired me to become a better person and she inflicted change in my life. After the crying sessions, JP and I went to eat Milk bars and watched the soccer game.
When it was about time to eat, since I have no parents, I ate with my friends whose families did not attend too! We just considered ourselves family too. We also had fun making fun of our classmate’s younger siblings! We enjoyed seeing them cry too (cruel! Aren’t we? Hahaha…)!
The entire afternoon was merely spent for the very enjoyable games which were participated by the parents and the students. I actually hosted the entire activity just to refrain myself from getting bored and falling asleep.
Hours later after the very last prize was given for the raffle tickets, me and my co-YFCs went to Fuente to join GK 1MB (Gawad Kalinga Isang Milyong Bayani). There were a lot of students there who were from different institutions and groups, both form the private and public sector, all Youths For Christ who went there for the remarkable activity. There were series of talks and animations. I also saw some of my KAC friends and YFC friends form other campuses.
It was past 7 and we haven’t eaten our dinners yet. So, we went to the larsian area and decided to eat bbq there. I was already not in the mood since I don’t want to eat there. I reasoned out that I did not bring enough money, even if I did have some cash on hand, just for me not to eat there because it feels like my money there is not worth the food, or am I just so thrift?
Eventually, I had no choice but to eat there because majority of us decided to. After some time, Japol followed there because he wants to see Juna.
We went back to the concert area and saw some Bisrock bands performing. Some of my colleagues already went home but there were still some of us who were left to watch the bands. The last band to perform, and actually the highlight of all the bands, was Phylum. When they were already playing, the battery of my cellphone was already dead. So I had to use Japol’s fone for my sim to be inserted and so I can receive text messages. My father texted me and he was looking for me. Form that very moment on, I was so sacred and was starting not to enjoy the show. Because also of the fact that I had no clear voice at that time because of too much usage of my voice the entire day, I was not able to complain that I need to go home. Japol just went along because he will still be with his dad.
So, since JP and I are going home together, I went near him and told him in a very feeble voice. He said okay after the band plays all of their songs. I agreed. But as the minute passes, my heart just seems to beat faster and faster. I told JP how worried I was and why I really wanted to go home. He comforted me and eventually understood. So, we went ahead them and rode on the jitney. I was so quite because I was so tired and I had no voice. I reached our house at 11 pm.
When I arrived, I went directly to sleep with so many thought in my head. My heart was filled with mixed emotions of happiness and other emotions.

tEchnoLogy is tHe reAsOn anD tHe eArTh wiLL bLoOm...

School’s non-stop activities are what makes going to school so fun! The unlimited pressure, very look-forwarded happenings and the feeling that you just can’t wait for everything to be done really dominates it all. And the month of February is all that I’m talking about… It is the month wherein 4 major activities really burn up the extra hot seniors. Imagine? The JS Prom 2007, Family Day, Sci-Tech Week and Drama Fest happen in very near dates! Good thing we are so immune of that feeling and just take each day at a time.

The Science and Technology Week usually happens during September. I can still remember the past three year’s activities. In the past, we would have a Jingle Contest, series of exhibits, a Physics play, visiting schools, and a lot of displays of our accomplishments in the field of Science and Technology (Math even sometimes inserts). But this year is so unique, our September was so quite and it felt like there’s nothing to do, because the very heavy activity was moved to meet the scheduled defense of the seniors.

Huh? Defense? It’s so scary to hear! Defending my own research is quite a very interesting yet so terrifying thing to do. I’m so scared what if we won’t be able to answer the panelist’s questions? Or what if I will be mentally blocked? There are so many things that I can’t afford to think of because it just surely adds to the chill on my knees.

Knowing our responsibility, of course, we handled the situation as mature students who know that we need to this and we really have to do this.

So, we prepared everything that we would be needing for our Science Fair exhibits and our Oral Defense as well. We really tried to read and read our research paper because we don’t want to miss any part of it. Even during my session in YMA, I brought along my research paper and proof read it because there’ no other time for me to do that.

And at last! The day that we mostly awaited finally came… We already knew our sequence for the oral defense and we also knew our spots for the science fair exhibits.

The opening day of the Science and Technology Week started on Monday with a ribbon cutting to formally open the entire activity. On the second day, all students in UP High were on the Conference Hall, listening attentively to the seniors who are fighting for their studies and proving to everyone that their study was very relevant and of high benefits for all.
As the program stared, I was tasked to read the panel of judges. I was quite hesitant at first but eventually managed to do it without blabbing. When it was already our turn, the chills in me is simply and undoubtedly there but I just managed to hide it through my smiles and high poise.

When everything was finally through, I took a deep breath and said… “It’s done!” we all went home feeling so light because thorns were uprooted all over our hearts.

The next days that came was so fun! Especially during the Science Olympics wherein we would be like athletes, playing and giving the best that we have and just forget about everything that happened yesterday.

Gabrielle and I decided to pair up and play the Egg drop. We had so much fun performing it during our Physics class that we wanted to try it again. Actually, all the seniors have an edge in this Olympics since Physics concepts are mostly used. But because we just joined for us to enjoy and have fun, we did not bare in mind that small funny fact.

During the ice-water throwing, section Tan won the game. But after them, playing it, we the seniors, played next! We got and made ice-waters and threw it to everyone! I was so wet then! As in! My entire shirt and hair and pants were completely a mess! We even ran around the entire campus trying to hit our batch mates and just laugh out of it.

We really had so much during this Science and Technology Week. But of course, there’s one activity down, and more to go!!!!

dRamA feSt... aN aChieVemenT... a nYt 2 chEriSh...

“We are the Seniors…yeah! We are the best… yeah!” Indeed, being a senior is such a privilege because you have proved to everyone that you have survived the three rocky road years of you high school life and you are about to spend your last year in the alma mater but it is also the very tiring and scary year because during this time, you really have to work double time because you can’t afford to lose everything because of a simple wrong doing.

One of the highlights of being a Senior is the Drama Fest Activity wherein the two sections of the fourth years would produce a play and eventually compete, to prove whose production is really the best. For us, it is a very friendly competition but it does not exempt the fact that we would really try our very best to bag the awards.

We were told about this activity as early as the first semester. But we worked on it, two weeks prior the actual presentation, of course! What is! Deadliners!

So, we would spend late nights and tired mornings just practicing and really doing our jobs to produce not a mediocre play. But despite of the time pressure and all the other factors that contribute to our tiresome feelings, we never miss to have fun and enjoy every minute of it. We savor every second that we spend with our batch mates because we know for a fact that soon enough, we would be going our separate ways and this play is not applicable in college! (hehehe…)

Prior the primetime show, we really can’t get rid of the excitement! We just kept on taking pictures, eat and pray that everything would come out fine, if perfect is not possible. As the moment to start gets nearer and nearer, many parents and visitors already arrived and that seriously added to our tension!

At last! The moment to start arrived. Intense feeling could be felt. Tan’s production was first to be showcased and our production then followed. There were some unexpected failures that occurred! Good thing there’s really enough cooperation from everyone and everything was resolved right away.

When Brig. Gen. Emmanuel Villasante threw the food away and cried out loud that signaled for the ending of the play, we really jumped out and screamed on the top of our lungs since we really hoped that that scene would be performed perfectly.

The giving of awards then followed; there were 17 awards in total that would be given away. Tan’s production got 8 awards while our production got 9 awards. We bagged the technical aspect and the best supporting actress award, while the other production bagged most of the acting awards. There was really no hard feeling towards each other and we were so happy for everyone who won.

For us, we don’t care if we did not win the acting awards as long as the aspect where we really invested a lot of effort, time and money was paid off, and that is the technical aspect.

The night ended for us to be so joyful and very successful. We went home tired yet so happy because another mission has been done and the bonding of the batch grew tighter.

“Pagmamahal nga ba ay nasusukat… sa tingin mo ba tama ang dapat masunod? Makasarili ka nga ba o sadyang nagmamahal ka lang… nang ang dusa’t sakit ay maranasan….”

yOunG miNdS aCademY...

Young Minds Academy Fast Paced Fast Forward or YMA is a youth citizenship and development program sponsored by the Ramon Aboitiz Foundation Inc. open to all Filipino youth ages 12 – 30 yrs. old who aims to develop young and emerging leaders to be responsible, pro-active and accountable citizens and leaders in the near future who are ready to serve the public and become world citizens promoting the virtues of peace, pluralism, respect, and multi-cultural understanding through awareness, education, immersion, and open discourse.

Since its official launching last December 26, 2006, YMA has been part of my priorities and weekend activities. Together with my group mates, we venture different kinds of people every time we would have a session since the range of the ages that belonged to this Academy is quite vast. Despite also of the fact that we are all strangers, the adjustment period took us a while, but each session always means a chance for us to bond and get to know each other.

It is not that easy to belong in this academy since commitment is much needed and a very big issue. At the start, I’d never expected it would come out this hard yet this easy and fun! I don’t know but it seems like there are times that I really enjoy the sessions but there are also times that my heart really hurts when important activities would also happen on the very same days. Of course, I have to choose because I can’t do two things at the same time, and weighing is very hard to do. Good thing that when I give up one, I don’t regret my decision.

Being part of YMA gave me the opportunity to be in places that I had never been, talk to the resource speakers who are really the best in their fields, and even eat and sleep with no expense at all!

The very delicious food is honestly one of the major factors that keep me so excited every time we would have a session. It is because, we never experienced hunger wherever we are, and our comfort is really their priority.

Also, fun and unforgettable moments would come our way like, picture taking here and there, non-stop joking and having fun and the bonding that keeps on getting stronger.

Yes, it is fun and expense-free and only commitment is needed to be in the academy, but when I am with them, I am not myself. I am so quite and I tend to act to be somebody I am not. Like, being so prim and proper all the time which means I can’t laugh out loud or I can’t spill a joke or I can’t sit the way I used to sit, and it makes me sick! I can’t talk to anyone how I really feel because they don’t know the people I am talking about and I still have to explain so many things over and over again just to share a very simple feeling, or experience. I really have to be this and that and I have to do this and that just to please the people I am with. It feels like someone else out of me is emerging out every time I would do something that is concerning the academy.

I miss my friends when I’m there. I miss my dear comfort zones when I am there and I miss being myself when I am there. And being someone I’m not is the hardest thing to be when I am there.

tHe dAy oF heArTs...

Flowers everywhere, stuff toys, chocolates, hearts and stuffs were everything that I have seen since the very morning of the Valentines Day started. Hmmmppp… thinking about it, it is already my 16th year of celebrating this very heart-threatening day alone. I don’t know why but I would really prefer this day to be spent only with my friends and family rather than with someone I can barely think of who would that very unlucky person would be.

During this day, we have no classes because there would be a unit wide meeting that would take place that would require all the teachers to attend. So, Gabrielle and I went to Waterfront Hotel and Casino Lahug to conduct an interview and take some pictures for our cyberfair articles. When we were about to enter the premises of the hotel, we came across a lay who was holding a very cute stuff toy with a blue-stemmed flower, I really envied her at that moment, so, Gabrielle and I just kept on laughing.
Upon the entrance, we then saw a flower shop with very fantastic flowers, a chocolate shop with very yummy chocolates, and guys on the waiting area holding a bouquet of flowers. I was so laughing at myself during those moments because I kept on imagining myself on that scene and I can’t help but laugh at it because if I were there, I don’t know how to react! Honestly!

When we finished our business there, we went to Michelle’s place to upload the pictures and continue editing our website. We were almost lost, but eventually managed to get through it. We spent half of our day there and eventually ate a lot there too! We had fun playing with her younger siblings and at the same time, eat again!(hehehe…) When we were on our way to go back to UP, the traffic was so heavy and it was really so tiring already. When we arrived, Japol was waiting for me there at the guard house because the guard doesn’t let him in because he is not a UP student anymore. Since he had been my friend for quite some time, I help him with his love life issues too. So, he was there to see his crush which is my friend and I was there to help him to do it so. We were having very funny moments because we bond a lot. I let him had his chance to be with his crush while I took the time to explore his cell phone to solve also my personal struggles about his friend which had something to do with me in the past and I want to clarify and prove some stuffs for the benefit of settling my soul. I was successful on my plan and eventually proved myself right.

We were talking and talking until the time for me and my friends to leave came, so, he went on his way while we walked though the streets of Molave and really having such funny moments. When we reached Ayala, we went to Lagoon to sit, relax, talk and bond. My friends kept on teasing me that it was okay for me to cry and all those stuffs. Of course, I don’t want to cry because our boy friends were there and I don’t want them to see me crying, not in front of them because of just a guy! So, I kept on diverting their attention to one of our boy friends who just got busted, but eventually, the topic always rolls back on me. The night went deeper and it was already past 9 and I think it was time for me to go home. So, we walked going to Asilo where Nico and I will ride on a jitney because he will still go to the internet shop to continue typing for their research paper. We had so much fun talking while eating and really laughing hard.

At the end of the day, I have realized that you don’t need a boyfriend to enjoy the day of hearts, because that day is not intended only for lovers, instead, its not limited for couples only, but for people who are with the people who endlessly loves them, and for me, they are my friends. The loves of my life forever.

oNce uPon tHat eVeniNg...

Spectacular! Amazing! Fabulous! Magical! Unforgettable! These are just some of the beautiful words that we could use to describe how we felt during the very magnificent night of February 9, 2007 when we were inside the luxurious 4-star hotel, Waterfront Hotel and Casiono Lahug, celebrating our Promenade, eventually the last promenade for us, the Seniors, who will soon be leaving with wonderful memories, the school which had been part of our lives.

Dashing ladies and awesome gentlemen could be seen around the lounge area of Arctic 1 & 2, feeling so excited upon pondering how the night would be. Of course, the very exquisite gowns and coats made us look like superstars in Hollywood, joining a prestigious award-giving ceremony. The make-ups, hair designs, stilettos and ties enhanced everyone’s looks. Others beauty really flaunted and seriously speaking, there were so many “aha!” moments that took place.
For us, seniors, and for me as well, I would really like this night to be very memorable and unforgettable. Fortunately, despite the fact that I just looked for my gown 2 days before the prom, my night was indeed a night to remember.
Since I don’t want to spend so much on my gown and my other stuffs, I just let Madam Nuñeza to do my hair and make-up because she was also the one who took charge on how I will look during the muse thingy during the Intramurals of 2004. Of course, I rode on a cab going to our venue and really thought that I would be late. I was amaze when I saw that there only a few of us who were still there right that very moment! I was so shocked when in saw my batch mates and how they looked because they really looked gorgeous on their gowns and coats. Right that very moment, picture taking here and there and everywhere took place. Of course, we would pose here and there and smile everywhere too!
When the signal to line up was called, I went out and sat on the sofa at the lounge. There I saw the Science High students who were also in their prom beside our function room. I saw some friends there and eventually got pissed off by others. Since I have the family name of Yee, and the sequence to ramp on the isle is by alphabetical order of the seniors and boys first, I obviously ended up as the last person to walk down the red carpet with my escort. It felt so good to be the last because there’s actually an advantage, the moment we went down the stairs, everyone clapped their hands on us, and we savored every moment of it.
The program went on, the eating part was all we waited for, and fortunately, my hunger was well satisfied. I really ate a lot because I was so hungry, but of course, on a very feminine way. I was escorted no matter where I go, even when I got to the comfort room.
After eating, the Prophecy took place and of course, the bequeathing of our Legacies was next. I was so tensed yet so excited because we only finalized the actions the day before the prom. Also, the limelight was really on us, so I’m so conscious of my actions. Luckily, we have performed it well and I have delivered my speech perfectly too. So, the Juniors also gave us a tribute song, and their cd was really cute!
The moment that we all been waiting for came, the disco!!! This was my very first time experience that I enjoyed the disco part so much! I went on dancing with my friends. We even lied down on the carpet. Why we did that? I don’t know but the happiness it brought was unexplainable. We kept on dancing until we get dehydrated. What added the fun was the fact that even the teachers, they also danced and danced until they dropped! It was so fun to look at during the students versus teachers dance showdown! It was my first time to see them so active and so participative!
Everyone really danced and danced not until the declaration for the last song was announced. It was a sweet song, and I don’t know who I would spend my last dance with. So, we formed the singles group where we formed a circle at the middle and danced together in the tune of “Your Love”. Earlier during the dance part, I and my clique also formed a circle and we had a group dance, our arms on each others’ shoulders. Those final moments were very touching.
I could say that there was a part of the prom where I hoped for something to happen as a sign, unfortunately, it did not happen en it hurt me so bad that when Euvic hugged me, I just broke down and cried. Good thing that my friends were there to comfort me. I could really feel my heart being torn apart. When I was relieved, we went out of the hall and stayed for quite some time there. I just acted like nothing happened, but eventually others noticed. So, every time that they would ask me what happened to me and why my eyes looked so wet, I would just answer them that my feet really hurt.
The night was a very promising night. I made so many realizations and it has been my turning point to some facts in my life. No regrets about anything that happened because I know that everything happens for a reason. Though tears flowed out from my eyes, my smiles shed everything I felt.

a sTorY... a dReAm...

There were once two people who just knew each other by name. Poochie and Tootsie were just mere acquaintances, and Ms. Ditz was the very root and reason why they ended up knowing each other.
One day, a very annoying friend of Tootsie, Arditz, came up to her and started bothering her, but then, Poochie came to rescue her. He diverted Arditz’ attention to get Tootsie out of trouble, so they ran and jumped over walls until they finally escaped.

Poochie didn’t know why he did that. He didn’t know why he rescued Tootsie, all he has in his mind is that he wants her to be out of danger and they are both out of trouble.

Riding on a red multi-cab sized jeepney, Poochie and Tootsie didn’t speak to each other, rather, only stared and were seated on the opposite ends. Tootsie was on the right side of the vehicle with two men beside her, while Poochie was seated on the left side alone. Since they were not talking to each other, the two guys beside Tootsie thought that the lady was alone and hurriedly took the opportunity. They asked for her name and her number. Tootsie began to feel unease and scared, while Poochie began to prepare himself for he can sense a fight. The vehicle was fast moving that’s why Tootsie can’t move too much, she’s also scared to fell down or be injured.

So, Poochie held her hands tightly and reached out for her. Tootsie then grabbed his hand and lifted herself while doing it so quickly, and finally ended up in Poochie’s side. The two men were shocked of what happened because they really did not expect it to happen. They had in mind to start a fight, but when they saw that Poochie’s arms wrapped around her, showing to the men that they can’t harm her and that he is always there for her. Tootsie also leaned towards Poochie in order for her to tell him that with him, she feels so secure.
Then, a minute or two later, the two men went down the jeepney. Raging in despair, Poochie smiled at Tootsie saying, “I will always be here to protect you…” From that very moment, Tootsie entrusted to Poochie her whole life.

When everything went okay, Poochie told her that they will drop by somewhere because he still needs to attend unto something. Of course, she had agreed. It was already quite dark when they arrived at their destination.

Poochie then said, “We’re here!” Tootsie looked around and became so horrified to see that they are in a cemetery. The place was only lit by candles and the rest can’t be seen. She was so terrified that she did not let go of his hands. Poochie just smiled at her saying, “don’t be scared, I will just introduce you to someone…”
Scared as she may be, Tootsie still went on bearing in her head that she is safe because Poochie is with her and that he will always protect her.

When they were on their way to enter the cemetery, both if them felt eerie. As if there are people or eyes of people that kept on staring at them. Tootsie did not lose the grip of her hands to him, not even for a split of a second. Of course, Poochie is so happy that Tootsie is by his side. Then, when they further walked inside the cemetery, suddenly, a group of dreaded ghosts encircled them! Tootsie screamed at the top of her longs due to fear while Poochie remained calm and decided to fight the ghosts. Back-to-back they fought the ghosts. Poochie slain about three ghosts, while Tootsie fought them through praying. Suddenly, a bright light from behind shone! It was the head of all the ghosts. She commanded the ghosts to stop fighting.

“Why are you in our territory?” the lady in white asked. “We are here to visit a dead person who is very close to my heart who has long been here” replied Poochie. “Please let us pass! Please! I beg you! We promise not to bother anyone here! We swear! Honestly!” cried Tootsie.

“Since I can see the purity of your hearts and intentions, I will grant your favor. Though, you killed again, three of my constituents.” said the lady.
“I beg your pardon for killing them again. I just did what I thought was right during that very moment, just to protect Tootsie. I can’t afford to lose her,” in tears, cried Pooh.

The lady was touched, she let them pass with the assurance that they won’t be harmed.
“Thank you so much! Thank you!” overwhelmed with gratitude, Tootsie exclaimed.
They went along, briskly walking, still holding each other’s hands and teasing each other too.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Poochie said, “hmmppp… do you know what? I really did not treat Arditz right because we are really not in good terms. Actually, I did not know why I did that for you. Why I saved you. I don’t k even know why I’m here with you.”

Upon hearing that, Tootsie frowned and tears could almost flow out from her eyes, but she stopped herself from crying. Instead, she just turned silent and sad and just continued walking along. Poochie saw her reaction so he said, “I may not know all the answers why, all I know is that I’m following my heart and what it says. It says that I must protect you because I don’t know how to live without you.”

Tootsie stopped and looked deeply into his eyes and said, “Thank you very much. Thank you for everything that you have done for me. I don’t know where I would be right now if it’s not for you.” So, they hugged each other and continued walking.

They soon reach the grave of Poochie’s mom and there, he told his mom everything about Tootsie. Suddenly, as if, the heaven opened its doors with a very bright light. Form that moment on, Poochie knew that his mother agrees with his choice and she will protect the forever.

Form that moment on…(end!)




I woke up nah… that’s why my story has been cut! Sorry!!!! ;p

wAnTed: bOyfrieND???!!!???

Is having a boyfriend really a big issue? If you don’t have one, does that mean to say that you are less attractive? Less beautiful? Not that sexy? Has a really bad personality that no one could ever appreciate you? Really that high standard and out of reach? Or simply, you don’t want to commit because you’re not that prepared enough to be in a relationship because you don’t know with yourself if you will be a good girlfriend, or honestly speaking, you’re not that ready to be committed to someone and share to him the entire “you”?

If you ask me, honestly, I also don’t know. And those questions were on my head for over 4 years or so, and it really bugs me.

During those times that I am alone, pondering on that such senseless question, I always end up realizing that I should not pressure myself in being committed with someone that I know that I don’t really know that much. I don’t want to enter a relationship wherein I am always pressured, or always trying to be someone that I am not, because in that case, I will really loose my mind! And moreover, I don’t want to enter a relationship just for the heck of entering it because my friends said so, or because I am in need of feeling loved, because I know that I don’t have to.

Just this afternoon, my friends and I were talking about me, not having a boyfriend. I could not recall how many people have already asked me how many boyfriends I had, and if I would answer them that I don’t have any, they will always laugh at me and ends up not believing me and still continues pushing that question. Or, if they would believe me, they would end up telling me that I have such high standards that no one can surpass it and I am looking for a perfect guy! I don’t know if how I would feel every time people would comment that way on that matter. I don’t know if I should be mad, because for me I am just a very simple girl; be happy because I am not that easy to get and people has really high regards with me; or be sad because they don’t see the real me.

More often than not, I am always seen to be hanging around with my friends, always on get-up attire like a sexy skirt with accessories that are fancy or cute blouses paired with exactly of the same shade of bag or sandals. People label me as a “kikay” kind of lady because I never ran out of powder, cologne, eye liner, and all those girly stuffs on my bag. As how I look at boys, I am so picky on telling who the cute ones are and who those really drop-down gorgeous men are!

I don’t know with myself, it’s just that maybe, they are right that I have such high standards that boys that attempt to court me would get intimidated or would feel that I am out of reach. But, is it really a bad thing to be that way? I want to set high standards because I just don’t want to end up just with anyone who is not worth my time, care and effort. I want the boys that will court me to think that I am not an easy kind of girl so they will not play with me, dare to fool me, or just take me for granted. I want them to think that I deserve to be respected, treasured and loved.

When boys court me, I don’t reject them right away because they did not reach my “ideal guy” stuffs. I always look in what they are doing, and are they really exerting effort in doing it so. I appreciate what they do for me, especially the sweet and thoughtful stuffs. I can easily see if they are worth the chance or not.

Honestly, all that I look for a guy is the sensitivity towards my feelings, honesty, sweetness, care and respect. Respect is a very big factor for me, because I hate guys that take every opportunity in their way. And finally, I want to see that they can prove to me that they did not court me just to be their “trophy”. Trophy in the sense that, just for the fact that they have a girlfriend that they can bring to Ayala, or they can have someone to brag towards their friends, or they have someone that they could call their own property, that they would court a girl because frankly speaking, there are really others who are like that.

I don’t want that boys would court me because of the physical characteristics that I have, rather, they would court me because they want to get to know me better and see the real me. I want them to accept the real me, and not change me into someone they want me to be. It’s so tough to decide, but it is a must.

Me, having no boyfriend until now, is my choice. Not that no one surpassed my “high” standards but because no one proved to me yet that they are really worth my tears. I want to be very careful in choosing my man because I have this kind of personality wherein, if I would love, I always give 90% of my love, as in! I really exert effort in letting it grow and really care for that person, no matter what. And if I would get hurt, I really sacrifice and really hold on, no matter how painful it is. If I would say that I am committed, I really mean it seriously. So, at the end, if everything would fall down, it would really cause a very deep scar in my heart. It would cause me pain, and bring me trauma and fear. Actually, I really have a hard time in moving on and letting go. It would take me months and months to do so, sometimes, it would even take me a year or so! That’s how I love, very dedicated and faithful, that’s why I just don’t easily say yes to anyone.

Now, is it my fault if I don’t want to be committed to someone that easily? If I don’t want that anyone would just easily own me? And if I want that the boyfriends that I would soon have would be special? I hope we have the same answers.

All that I can do is pray for the right person, to come in the right time, to be in the right place, and when everything is perfectly settled and I am perfectly ready for it… because I want that the person that I would soon brood over is worth every tear and every smile…

miSsinG faTheR...

Several meanings rushed into my mind when I started to write the title for my blog. Is it that my papa is no where to be found? Or it means that I am missing him or him missing me? Well, at the end of this entry, we could soon find out.

Growing up in a family where girls are really kept, kept in the sense that they are those who are highly respected, greatly treasured, and very protected, I sometimes really long for my freedom. Going home late, walking alone, going out on Saturdays and Sundays; are just some of the usual arguable issues we have at home. Of course, being a teenager, I am in the stage wherein I really spend time with my friends because they seem to be my comfort zones during the hard moments of my life.

Now, since the practice for the Dramafest started which was 2 weeks ago or so, I had never joined my family for breakfast, because we all have different schedules for the day; lunch, because everyone is at school and work; and for dinner,because we are pressured to stay late to practice. Because of that, when I go home, I go straight to bed with no food in my stomach except that of the bread we ate for snacks time, and wake up early for school. When I arrive from school, they are either not yet around or already asleep and during the morning, I get to leave early. So, we just end up seeing each other for quite just "sometimes".

Tied up in my commitments and responsibilities, I tend to forget that there's a family that misses me. There are those people who always long for my time. My time that I always spend outside the premises of our home. The time that I cannot say was wasted but instead was used up. I was so preoccupied with the activities in school that I already forget the activities of my little brother in his school, to bond my older sister and brother when they go home, and even just share to my parents how my day had been. Every time they would see me, I'm always in a hurry, ready to go, and just informing them where I will be going with no definite time when I would go home.

Indeed, just hours ago that I have realized those gaps I have created with my family. Since the dramafest is done and final exams are fast approaching, studies is again our first priority. Of course, that enclosed the fact that I would go home early. Early is curfew time for me...hehehe...

The moment that my foot stepped on the premises of our home, my father greeted me with a big smile. My mother was indeed kinda surprised too. I gave respect to them and started to head towards my room and planned to sleep. Not until my father said, "Oh!Naa man lagi ka?Sau man lagi ka?Nikaon na ka?Dali, dungan ta tanan ug kaon". Those words that came out from his mouth stunned me and me realize that I should spend time with them.

So, I changed my uniform and started to fix the table. From the words that soon came out of my father's mouth, I came to realize that he did miss me. So, I told him, "Yeah! I know you missed me!" and blurted out a big laugh, teasing my faher to honestly tell me that he missed me. My mother just enjoyed the scene and just kept on laughing.

We shared dinner together. According to papa, because I was able to join them for dinner, he let my brother buy softdrinks for the lechon manok that my mom bought. I felt so special. I felt so loved. I felt like they really missed me and for that I must not let those moments just easily go away.

"Gang," my mom said, and inquired about the CNU results. It really felt that I haven't heard anyone called me that in the longest time. It felt good. I told them that results would be released next week. Papa told me to take up an entrance test in CCMC, but I never wanted to enter that school! So I disagreed with him. At the end of our discussion, these words inspired me from my father, "Bahala nah ug mahal na nga kurso, kung mao jud na ang imong gusto, paningkamotan jud nako na". Those words inspired me to work harder and be more serious in my studies.

Having those thoughts on my mind that papa was missing me, I felt that everything for me is good. I could not ask for more.